The Scientician writes:
For our inaugural entry, we thought it would behoove us to sample something remarkable. After much deliberation (or, rather, a text message to Sasquatch that read, "I bought a durian"), a durian was purchased. Dubbed the king of fruits, we hoped its weapon-like appearance would yield gustatory pleasures.
Those who love the durian extoll the virtues of its exquisite scent and flavor. A delicacy in much of the world, this, I decided, would be our first foray.
Upon selection, I handed the fruit to my faithful assistant, The Snowman. The villainous fruit pricked him and he experienced a mild allergic reaction! Dedicated to our cause, we soldiered on.
After arriving in our secret laboratory, it was decided that the durian would be enjoyed with supper the next day. The next morning arrived with the scent of durian filling every cubic inch of our laboratory. The odor became overwhelming by evening and it was decided that the time was nigh to begin our work.
We laid the fruit out on our soon-to-be-trademarked Science Table and carefully sliced it open. The sight we beheld made me question for a moment whether this was indeed a vegetable and not an animal. Putrid sacs of fragrant goo greeted us, beckoned to us. I screwed my courage to the sticking point and sampled the flesh. I am proud to say that I completed one revoltingly savory, garlic-flavored mouthful before deferring to my partner. He had to be reminded of the importance of our work before he would sample his portion.
This was not a success. We are willing to accept that we may have chosen a bad durian and are prepared to repeat this experiment at a later date.
Two showers later, my hands still smell like durian. This may be a permanent battle wound.
She made me cut into this thing. It looked like a mutant hedgehog. It smelled like dead cats.
Didn't taste too bad, though. I'd have eaten more if I wasn't sure it was kind of rotten.